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DeadJournal for RuFuS.
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| Sunday, October 30th, 2005 |
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| Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 |
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Put your playlist on shuffle. Answer the questions with each new song that comes up. What do you think of me, playlist? Song: hidden track Singer: eels Thoughts: ::smile:: content turmoil. Will I have a happy life? Song: reject of society Singer: crass Thoughts: ....oh god. What do my friends really think of me? Song: demon days Singer: gorillaz Thoughts: "In demon days, it's cold inside You don't get nobody, people sigh It's so bad, lasting far, but love yourself" Do people secretly lust after me? Song: melt with you Singer: modern english Thoughts: ::Grin:: they'd stop the world to melt with me..... what a shroomy dream. hahaha. How can I make myself happy? Song: sick joke Singer: Doom Thoughts: take down the system. or become part of it. What should I do with my life? Song: just waht i needed Singer: the cars Thoughts: let the boyo i love waste my time par usual. hahahaha. Why must life be so full of pain? Song: black cadillacs Singer: modest mouse Thoughts: "because we were donedonedone with all the fuckfuckfucking around. you were true to yourself but you were true to no one. i should put you in the ground." How can I maximize my pleasure during sex? Song: gone for good Singer: the shins Thoughts: by leaving you and getting on with my lonely life. Will I ever have children? Song: no religion Singer: Doom Thoughts: uhm... if i do.... they wont be baptized and probably be home schooled too. Will I die happy? Song: girl inform me Singer: the shins Thoughts: i'll die thinking about you most likely. Can you give me some advice? Song: i write the b-sides Singer: eels Thoughts: stones don't float? and be a part of not doin what you're told by getting cold. ::nods:: its true. Do you know where your children are? Song: securicor Singer: crass Thoughts: they're privates in private armies? What do you think happiness is? Song: bovine caligula Singer: agoraphobic nosebleed Thoughts: uhm firing clowns and regreting murders? What's your favourite fetish? Song: girl on the wing Singer: the shins Thoughts: emotional abuse? and loyalty? |
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| Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005 |
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you think i hate you...... too bad i adore you more than anyone else in this godforsaken town. WHY CANT YOU GET THAT? i'd never do anything to hurt you. |
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I got tagged by no_more_nothing 1. Go into your DJ's archives. 2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to). 3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to). 4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. (Just post it as a comment here if you feel like it.) My sentence: both of with I CREATED ALL BYE MY SELF!!!! Tagging: none Go! |
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| Saturday, August 20th, 2005 |
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emily: "does he drive?" me: "no... he smokes." |
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| Tuesday, August 16th, 2005 |
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blessedidiocy: do you dig urban combat? tragofalife: yes.... tragofalife: completely tragofalife: wait like REAL urban combat or like a song or band or something? blessedidiocy: like killing people in ruined cities blessedidiocy: ...with slingshots and shit blessedidiocy: cuz theyre nonlethal and cheap blessedidiocy: anyway, its for my totally illegal urban combat game i wanna do in magnolia tragofalife: YUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS tragofalife: I WANNA PLAY! blessedidiocy: its not playing blessedidiocy: its killing tragofalife: same thing |
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| Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 |
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"Am I more than you bargained for yet I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear Cause that's just who I am this week Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum I'm just a notch in your bedpost But you're just a line in a song" so basically im still in love with the boy who broke my heart. annnnd i got busted for sneaking people in through the window last night. annnnnnnd bad habits always seem to be the hardest to leave behind. also... ( remember this? ) |
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| Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 |
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im living with my mum again. she told my shrink i was trying to kill myself again. so i had to explain everytime with every little deatil or else theyd commit me. nothing has made me want to do it more. even though i dont want to any more. not really, anyway. yeah, i tried to take my life recently. like the big loser i am. lame, no? fucked it up in the end though... so here i am. living like some trashypunkergirl. wasting my days. partying too hard. fucking up my future. holding on to things which i should let go. wishing i could change. fighting for a lost battle. wishing for the old days. feeling older than i should. im just so tired. listlessness i suppose. stagnation. nothing where there should be something. why cant i find my jar of childish hope? did it run dry? god damn, i feel lame. |
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| Monday, August 1st, 2005 |
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| ( bored as fuck ) | ||||||||
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005 |
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well i left the countr but now im back. today is myfirst day of summer and so fa i think im doing it right... sitting on my ass in my boxers and foamy shirt eating popcicles and lj/djing it up with loud music playing waiting for homies to wake up. "aint no cure for da summer time blues" ::smile:: i missed english. dj sems to have changed since i was here last... looks nice. hmm. call me up if ya anna chillz! |
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| Thursday, June 16th, 2005 |
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GOOD GOD WILL THE ITCHING EVER STOP????im scratching my self to blood here.... ::tears:: i just want to not itch! |
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005 |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZINKERS! |
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| Tuesday, June 14th, 2005 |
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fuckfuckfuck. ok. i hate being clinicaly depressed. one small storm and my whole boat is sinking. i cant stand it. i hate feeling like shit, i hate feeling like im not fit for the world and i hate people asking me whats wrong and me responding with a "nothing" or "i dunno". i hate my parents suggesting i should be on meds for it too. i dont want meds. i dont want to feel anymore retarded than i already do. i just want to be able to live my life like a normal human being with out shoving my body full of medication. i want to be able to stay happy for more than a week. i want to be able to stop posting crappy whimpy whiny words that pour out of my psychotic, depressed, twisted mind. i want to find peace. i want sleep. |
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| Friday, June 10th, 2005 |
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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop. je suis une ninja de nuit! |
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| Wednesday, June 8th, 2005 |
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chris: "she just wants to watch those apacolypse movies because she thinks the end of the world is funny." me: "NO I DONT!" ::the whole room stares at me:: me: "well....ok yeah....i do." ::i burst into laughter. everyone else stares on:: chris: "see?" |
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DeadJournal for RuFuS.
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un-clicked..
beaten and fruedian.
urban combat is bro as fuck..
waaaay too itchy.
awake.
nostalgic.